Sometimes we aren't truthful for fear of offending anothers sensibilities. -Or we hold back because we are worried of what others will think. We make up a story because it hurts too much to have to be honest. Our mother told us to be polite; our grandmother told us it's not ladylike, or gentleman-like. -Or it takes courage, wisdom, capacity, acceptance, intimacy, honesty we don't think we have. Maybe it takes a voice we don't think we have, or two legs we forgot how to stand on. Maybe fake-it-til-you-make-it was the mantra handed down to you.
There are so many times when I've chosen to not be truthful, for any combination of the above reasons. Choosing not to speak up when that manager sexually harassed me. Playing the yes[wo]man because I was in shock, survival mode, and it was just easier to play the tune of those who were speaking my truth for me, instead of with me--or even better, listening to me tell mine. The times I was embarrassed, and made something up. The times it felt too messy, and for some reason, I thought truth had to be neat and tidy and sweep-able... For under the rug, of course.
Well, lately I've been into speaking truthfully, kindly, mindfully, to make up for all those lost truths. I speak up because it's not only taking responsibility for mySelf, but it's my duty for my children; for the mending of my family's broken pieces and it's awesome continued thriving; for my ancestors to whom I owe it for honoring and healing. I want future generations to be able to open their eyes, rather than wince in the light of truth.
Here's the thing, what would happen if we DID tell it like it is? What if we found our breath before the wind knocked us out of our sails, before we decided to wait until later, later when we never did anything about that thing we never stood up for? What if we bared our soul and became the soft animal of vulnerability? What would happen?
We can hold space for the pain if we have made a container of joy. We can speak boldy if we can listen tenderly. We can stand tall for ourselves, if we look to see that we are not standing on others. We can love, if we've confronted that which we hate. We can share when we know how to receive. We can go into the dark, if we know how to hold the lantern high.
And if we do, we'll have more valuable connection. We will help to evolve kindness, compassion, acceptance. We will free ourselves from thinking within our own box of truth by sharing and connecting, speaking and listening to others share their truths. We will witness and bear witness to one another, perpetuating understanding.
It is when I look for that kernel of Truth inside of me, I realize I need not look outside or to anyone else. I speak up from that rumbling place in my belly, or that racing heart, or that stuck lump in my throat, or those glassy tears, or that I-can't-stop-smiling draw on the lips. It comes up and out of me, a sliver of my experience, and the only reason I might look outside of myself, is simply to be inspired and in awe of the rest of the world who holds me, and who I hold.
This message, especially, goes out to my sisters who wonder or have forgotten if they have something important to say. Go on, you know you do. We all do. Speak up! The children need you to. Your partners, family, place-of-work, humankind, the next evolution needs it.
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