I wonder sometimes what I'll do with this open heart of mine. It is open, spirited, full of the pain and beauty of the world, courage, curiosity, and fire. -Who will go racing for the door when they catch a glimpse of it as I continue to offer it unapologetically? Who will stay?
One of the things I am learning is it doesn't matter who stays or strays. As I continue to do the spiritual work around what True Love is, I realize that I am my greatest love. -Not in the egotistical, narcissistic manner, but in the way in which you are suspended between yourself and your child as they take their first steps. The way in which you are so enraptured by the symphony of thousands of cicadas on a summer night, a majestic endless mountain spiraling into the clouds, the words of that poem where the words leave you silent and with a gleam of tears in your eyes. You are brimming, no cascading with presence, understanding, the fullness of a moment where the judge is left behind, and only the witness is left naked and staring. When you are so greatly humbled by the beauty and can grapple with the hardest, even quite possibly most grotesque and come into an understanding that all of this-including your own love is for your, for the sake of everyone's love and awakening. The Great Heartbeat.
What matters is that I stay true to my heart. Authentic and allow my Spirit to grow beyond the bounds of this body, for the only fear in an open heart is being seen. I wonder if it's also that I may not be seen and feel alone, or misunderstood?
I read recently that there are only three things that cannot hide for very long--the sun, the moon, and the Truth. I love this. Those moments we offer a part of ourselves to someone, where we get "real", we try something out of our comfort zone for the first time, we allow ourselves to gush, feel fully, spill over, get messy--even within the context of "revealing ourselves", this is still just a small sliver of Truth.
As part of a 40-day Awareness Challenge I am taking, we are to create a clear intention as to our spiritual yoga practice. The teacher explains that contrary to oft times mainstream opinion about yoga, there are motives, desires. However, he goes on to explain that the Pure Motive-the traditional prayer in one's practice is to practice out of love for yourself; with the desire to get to know your own Being; and to benefit all Beings.
So in light of being truthful and open-hearted, and as my intention for this course grows, I am moved to share with you:
My heart's intention is to love and love wholeheartedly. To love from that place that is so boundless that it is like the sea. It moves from shore to shore, it bulges toward the moon, and rests towards the earth. I want the boundary of my love to be the trust I give myself that the Universe indeed holds me beyond the arms of others (which I often think I "need" OR don't trust others offering/or the lack of). To receive love with open arms, and trust and accept the love that comes my way, just the way it is. In the next couple days I will refine and simplify, or not.
My invitation for you is to reflect on the ways in which you offer yourself wholeheartedly. Where do you pull back? When do you feel sharing your truth backfires? How can you become more adept at knowing when to surrender and when to act on behalf of your heart? And what kind of intention is arising for you in ways of living a more truthful life?
