I want. I want. I don't want.

Isn't it funny when that deep and wondrous thing that you want, that you are culling from the cavernous depths of your heart manifests as the thing you don't want?  

And then you are staring at it face to grimacing face, going, "but, I don't want this" when it arises from the hearts' wellspring.

So that's how it goes.  You set your most sincere intention in seeking (like a temper-tantrum-throwing toddler with a three-word vocabulary) that thing that you thought you wanted. And, when it finally is yours:  you toss your head in disgust, throw your body to the floor, and hurl the third word, "mine" (which you thought you were ready to embrace) out the door.  

Lucky I am the humble student to a real-life toddler. Maybe the burgeoning toddler within will learn a thing or two.